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Boundless Optimism
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The other day at the club, playing with one of my favorite partners, I picked up the following hand in 4th seat, white versus red:

South
1074
1065
AQ54
Q96
W
N
E
S
3
3
P
?

What's your call?

 

 

Marvelling at our incredible diamond fit, and holding what looked like a stopper, I could count 7 tricks. Partner must have two more for me, right? I confidently bid 3NT, which passed out.

South
1074
1065
AQ54
Q96
W
N
E
S
3
3
P
3NT
P
P
P

On the lead of the 5, dummy came down:

North
K96
Q98
KJ10762
4
South
1074
1065
AQ54
Q96
W
N
E
S
3
3
P
3NT
P
P
P

Focused on counting my tricks, I completely missed the dearth of high-cards in dummy. Of course what did it matter, really?  Six diamonds, possibly 1 club, and if I were really lucky, maybe a spade. Down 1 seemed possible.
 
I called for the 4, RHO winning the K. He now played the 10. What do you do now?

North
K96
Q98
KJ10762
4
South
1074
1065
AQ54
Q96
W
N
E
S
3
3
P
3NT
P
P
P

If RHO started with K10, then it didn't matter what I did unless I ducked and my LHO made a defensive error by not overtaking.  If he had three clubs, my play also wouldn't matter unless he started with KJ10 or AK10, in which case it would be important to cover. But wouldn't he have led the J from KJ10? And if RHO had AK10, wouldn't that mean LHO had preempted 3, unfavorable, on J8xxxx?  I decided to duck and hope for a misplay.  
 
The 10 held, but RHO continued with the J, LHO winning the A. Had I played the Q, the suit would have blocked and RHO would have had to guess how to get back to partner's hand (however, as you'll later see, it was pretty clear how to do so).
 
As LHO was running the clubs, dummy was getting squeezed. I pitched a spade, then a heart, and finally a diamond, again, my optimism getting the best of me wanting to be able to run all my beautiful diamonds as soon as I got in. LHO cashed the A, and then shifted to a low spade.  RHO won the AQ and then ran all his spades. When all was said and done, I was down 9, the opponents having taken all 13 tricks! We almost received a late play since I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes.
 
The full deal is shown below:

West
52
AJ2
83
A87532
North
K96
Q98
KJ10762
4
East
AQJ83
K743
9
KJ10
South
1074
1065
AQ54
Q96
W
N
E
S
3
3
P
3NT
P
P
P
D
3NT South
NS: 0 EW: 0

I don't think I've ever declared a contract where the opponents took all 13 tricks. It wasn't a zero, however; one pair was in 6, making. Although the opponents can make 5 and 5 their way, no one bid it.  
 
Down 9 is ... ?
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