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Deportment -- who's at fault?
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I hate being involved in unpleasantness at the table.

Two recent events left me wondering if I had behaved badly or if my opponents were unreasonable.

 

Hand 1:

Regional two session flighted open pairs

               

West
95
QJ8764
A9
KJ3
North
J1073
2
Q1085
7542
East
AQ82
1093
KJ763
8
South
K64
AK5
42
AQ1096
W
N
E
S
1NT
2
P
3
P
P
P
D
3 West
NS: 0 EW: 0

Sitting West I declared 3. North led J

J-A-4-5

8-A-3-2

A-4-2-3

K-6-2-9

5-Q-4-T

Now I ran the 9 to set up a pitch for the J.

9-3-2-...

South looks annoyed and goes in the tank. After ten or fifteen seconds, I ask "No ten?"

She wasn't happy with that. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Well, if you don't have the ten it's over, I can pitch the J on the Q making 3.

Now she tells me that I am rude and she didn't understand why I was in such a hurry.

Was I? Maybe I should have just tabled the 9 and claimed making or down one on the finesse, but that seemed even more likely to cause confusion.

Should I have called the director at this point? 

Hand 2:

Sectional two session open pairs.

I'm defending 6NT and lead J from JT8xxx. Dummy has AK9x. Declarer wins Q and pretty soon leads her remaining club to the A.

My partner pitches 2. Declarer inquires about our carding, and I reply "We play upside-down count and attitude"

She continues "So the 2 means?"

I didn't think it was my duty to explain basic defensive signalling, so I repeated our agreement -- "We play upside-down ..."

She asked again, and I gave the same reply. At this point the dummy (improperly) calls the director.

So I ask the director what explanation I'm expected to give, we give her one and she finishes down 2.

I hate it when this stuff happens. Am I alone in feeling that expectations for players in open events are ridiculously low? Am I losing patience in my senescence? Did I really owe the declarer further explanation, or should the director have told declarer "He stated their agreement. Please resume play?"

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