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GIBeth and Taketh Away
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After bad weather cancelled my July 4th holiday plans -- more precisely what bad weather does to a car that leaks -- and most precisely what happens to me whilst in that car -- I found myself on bridgebase.com killing time.

I noticed on the homepage that there was an ongoing competition for GIB matchpoint tourneys -- who could manage the highest % average over 5 of their best games. I am no stranger to GIB matchpoints and pretty good at bringing in 80%+ games, so I thought i'd give it a go. Obviously, the corollary to that is being even better at getting <40% games...but more on that later.

South
A85
A872
AK
AK109
W
N
E
S
1
X
P
3
3
?

Your bid? Remember that if you take more than a few seconds you actually lose...the GIB will jump out of the screen and strangle you "The Ring" style.

The other thing to note is that GIB (while a pretty solid citizen most of the time) is notoriously bad at responding to doubles -- converting when it's bonkers-- bidding 4-card minors with FIVE in the unbid major etc... I think a recent patch has improved this significantly, but I haven't played much lately to know.

Anyways, this is my story, so you bid 6 and west leads the K

North
A85
A872
AK
AK109
South
2
1096
QJ8
QJ8532
W
N
E
S
1
X
P
3
3
6
P
P
P

You tingle a little when you see that the dummy not only had longer 's than 's, but SIX of them! This quickly escalates into convulsions as you see you are 1 trick short of making the contract.

Remember our corollary from earlier -- that with every 80% game, you probably cash in 3 or 4 or 17, 40% games. Or you would except right about now, you would rage quit* and start a new session. And also remember that if you stare at the screen for more than a few seconds, you will actually spontaneously combust. But, just as you are about to withdraw http://www.kantarbridge.com/humor_stories.htm (SFW, search for withdraw) you see a chance!

 

Do you see it?

 

 

*Throwing the poker chips, flipping the Monopoly board, unplugging the Nintendo, taking your ball and going home (urban dictionary)

The bridge gods have dealt you the T and a pity spot. If west started with KQJ and 7 solid to the 9 (name for a band anyone?) or any EIGHT spades, you will make your contract on a fairly straight-forward major-suit squeeze.

North
A85
A872
AK
AK109
South
2
1096
QJ8
QJ8532
W
N
E
S
1
X
P
3
3
6
P
P
P

Based on the title, you probably know what happened...

 

West
KQJ10764
KQJ
976
North
A85
A872
AK
AK109
East
93
xxx
10xxxx
xxx
South
2
1096
QJx
QJ8642
D

 

Nine never anyone?

 

I did manage to reach 79.91% but cool fact -- the competition was for the scheduled BBO mathpoint games...NOT the instant games.

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