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I hate my partner

Let me give you the reasons for this state of mind:

- We can never find the 5-3 major fit after a NT opening.

- He skips control bids without good reason.

- He is often a King off (+ or -) what he bids.

- He is equilly often off in suit length (+ or -).

- He passes my 2NT rebid, after I opened 1NT, although he has 18 hcp!

- He lets me play in a 4-3 major fit i.s.o. the 6-4 minor fit he knows of.

- He 'corrects' a perfectly good 3NT to a hopeless 4M in a 5-2 fit.

- He doubles opps weak 2 with a strong 6c and 16 hcp, and then passes my 2 (4-1 fit).

- He is hopeless in competitive bidding situations.

- He raises my take-outs to make sure that we go down one too many.

- He never leads the suit I bid.

- He does not know penalty doubles.

- He does not know lead directing doubles.

- He does not understand signals.

- His stupid defensive play costs at least one trick every time.

- He trumps a low lead from declarer that is running to my AQ.

 And that is just what happened in the last week.

 

I suppose you have guessed by now: his name is N. Robot.

I think he is in cahoots with his siblings W. Robot and E. Robot.

 

Ten years ago Jack already had more intelligence than this Robot family.

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