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Who should have pushed harder?

Partner and I agreed to play one of the modern Jacoby 2NT response schemes, specifically the one outlined by Larry Cohen on his website.  Lo and behold, the toy applies to a hand in last night's session.  Yet, we still missed an excellent slam!

West
KJ75
A83
AQ6
962
East
Q10432
KQ72
K3
AQ
W
N
E
S
 
1
P
2N
P
3
P
3N
P
4
P
4
P
4
P
4
P
P
P

3 showed more than a minimum and a hand with a distribution of 5-4-2-2.  (The meaning of "more than a minimum" had not been specified; my working definition is at least a king more than a minimum opening bid or a 5 or fewer loser hand.)

3 by responder would be asking opener to identify the four-card side suit.  3NT was undiscussed.

4, 4, and 4 were each control bids (although the new partnership had not discussed control bidding style).

Given all above, who should have pushed harder to reach this excellent slam?

mostly West
mostly East
equally West and East
neither

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