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Why Marijuana Should Be Legal

Imagine you are the brand new director at a Denver area bridge club working the Tuesday afternoon game. Midway through the session, a disturbance breaks out at one of the tables and you are called upon to adjudicate. You arrive at the table and all four players are quite agitated and talking at once. You determine that play has been completed and the result was 4S by West, down 1.

Here is the original auction:

W
N
E
S
1
1
3
3
P
P
4
4
P
P
P

A review of the deal as confirmed by the results at other tables is that there was little to the play, North-South make ten tricks in hearts, East-West make nine tricks in spades.

North-South are complaining that West broke tempo before passing 3S which improperly influenced East's 4S bid. East-West are saying that North acted on unauthorized information in bidding 4H.

You tell them you are going to listen to them one at a time, starting with South, the dealer.

South: "Hi, I am Bob. I am a traveling salesman. I sell marijuana suppositories, perhaps you have heard of our company, "Boo in the Tush." Here, have a sample of our product. The auction had proceeded 1H-(1S)-3D which I alerted. East asked and I explained it was a weak jump shift, pointing to our convention card which is marked, "Weak jump shifts in competition, for example, 1H-(1S)-3D." East bid 3S, I passed, and West appeared to stare out across the room for at least ten seconds before passing. North bid 4H and East made an "insta-4S bid" ending the auction."

West: "Bob is correct about the break in tempo. Do you see the very attractive, large breasted, blonde woman with the low cut blouse at the next table? That is Mary Jones, recently divorced. Mary dropped her convention card and bent over to pick it up. I was understandably distracted."

North: "Bob is right about our agreement. I forgot. I normally play fitting jump shifts in competition. Here is my hand.

x QJxxx AQxxx xx.

I was willing to play 3H, but when the auction came back to me in 3S, I had to bid 4H. Bob didn't know I had heart support. Wouldn't you?" (Note: They always ask.)

East: "South alerted the 3D bid and when I asked and South answered, North gasped, stammered and turned beet red. It was clear to the janitor in the next room that she had forgotten their agreement. Here is my hand.

QJxxx xx AQxxx

I was willing to bet if I bid 3S she would bid 4H so I set my trap. I would bid 3S and then 4S over her 4H bid. If 4S made, I would keep my result. If it went down I expected the auction to be wound back to 3S."

(If you are wondering about the title of this post, after the round is over you take Bob's product and a brief bathroom break. No one could seriously expect you to do this job sober.)

Meanwhile, how do you rule?

Table result stands. NS+50, EW-50
North improperly acted on unauthorized information. NS-140, EW+140
West broke tempo influencing East's bid. NS+420, EW-420
Split ruling. NS+420, EW-50
Split ruling. NS+420, EW+140
Split ruling. NS+50, EW-420
Split ruling. NS+50, EW+140
Split ruling. NS-140, EW-420
Split ruling. NS-140, EW-50
Average plus for both sides, it keeps the customers coming back. Procedural penalty to Bob, bribing the judge. And average plus for Mary Jones because, well, you never know.
Other. Don't bother.

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