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Complete your profile or else suffer the wrath of Khan

Complete your profile or else suffer the wrath of Khan

Recently the kind, gentle, and compassionate Peg Kaplan published an upbeat (as is her wont) article politely asking denizens of Bridge Winners to complete their profiles. Since her efforts did not create a plethora of profile-filing, I thought I’d fail in an attempt in my style (fear, loathing, bad jokes and way too many parentheses).

Complete your profile or else. Now. This means you. If you do not your finesses will fail, your 50% games will make only when you fail to bid them, and your partner will snicker at your pathetic efforts (in other works, your bridge will not change in the slightest).

Fill out your profile and responders to your brilliant questions will know how to word their answers. When you ask “Are Alder Three Bids legal?” people will jump to answer knowing you play in Scotland, Turkey, Florida or even the United States.

Enter your data and when you opine about the exotic (and erotic) beauty of Reverse Inverted Roman Transfers your responders will have an idea of how much experience you have in this strange game. If you are a novice the answers will usually be along the lines of “I suggest you postpone that particular adventure for a year of three.” If you are an expert (or can prove you know one) you will not see the answer. Instead you will see the dreaded notice that the posting has been removed due to failure to meet community standards.

Just do it, willya? It will make Peg happy and keep the wrath of khan away. Tis a consummationDevoutly to be wished.

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