Join Bridge Winners
All comments by Joel Shapiro
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In Canada we will be having to charge $10, not $8, due to the exchange rate. Stay tuned for news as to how well this will go over with players.

I understand, however, that this new fee applies only to players with no existing ACBL number. Players with an existing number, if not currently paid up, will be subject only to the $4 surcharge (we do charge only $4 in Canada).
Feb. 18, 2018
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Now I'm no expert, not by a long shot, but I voted for a limit raise because of the two tens.

I like 10's. I even married one.
Feb. 15, 2018
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In the adjacent cities of Kitchener and Waterloo, an hour west of Toronto, the main north-south street, King Street, traverses both. However, in Kitchener, the compass is rotated 90 degrees. So when entering Kitchener from the south, you first are on King Street East, then further north you are on King Street West, then when you cross into Waterloo it is suddenly King Street South, then finally King Street North as you proceed north into the country.

This comment is related to bridge because it is usually good to have four kings.

Come see for yourself - Kitchener is hosting a Regional this coming July.
Feb. 11, 2018
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Further to my observation about the interstates near Wytheville - when you are heading south on I-77 and north on I-81, you are actually driving east! When you are heading north on I-77 and south on I-81, you are actually driving west! Your GPS is a Giant Driving Screw-up!
Feb. 8, 2018
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A bit further away, around Wytheville VA, you can be going south on I-77 and north on I-81 at the same time, and cars going the other way will be going both north on I-77 and south on I-81.

So who's on lead again?
Feb. 6, 2018
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When someone who is not the last to call taps the table for a pass, I wish I could politely ask that person's partner how many high card points one tap shows, as opposed to two taps.
Feb. 4, 2018
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I liked my Cincinnati chili five ways.

Up 2, down 2, up 1, down 1
Feb. 4, 2018
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At a regional tournament about ten years ago, I sat passively listening to my opponents bid themselves all the way to 6NT, after asking for aces and then kings. I managed to find the double card - and then proceeded to lead all four of my aces followed by the king of clubs. At that point I graciously conceded the rest.
Feb. 4, 2018
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If the WBF is to move, it should move to someplace that could really use the help. Maybe Detroit.
Jan. 31, 2018
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When you say that players are in their high 70's to low 80's, are you referring to their ages, their masterpoint levels, their bowling averages, or their golf ability?
Jan. 31, 2018
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Several years ago I was filling in at my club in a 299er game when my LHO opened the budding 3S. My partner doubled, RHO passed. I was holding AQJT98 in spades with some outside points as well. So, trying to be nice to a newbie, before I passed I asked LHO if he really meant his 3S bid (thinking maybe he meant to bid 3H and pulled the wrong card from the box - I'd have let him change it). No, he said he really meant it. So I passed and he went down for a big number. He sent a nasty letter to my wife, who was directing, complaining about me. Moral - no good deed goes unpunished.
Jan. 31, 2018
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She suggested, as a testimonial to my (then) bridge ability, that I get DOWN1400. But I said no, as it was still $150.
Jan. 25, 2018
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I wanted to get DRCTRPLS but my wife wouldn't let me. Besides, it was $150.
Jan. 23, 2018
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Every Canadian knows that 99 is Wayne Gretzky, not Barbara Feldon.
Jan. 16, 2018
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I once paired up Darke vs. Light.
Jan. 16, 2018
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And then we sometimes have 5-way round-robins. Up 2, down 2, up 1, down 1, such fun…
Jan. 16, 2018
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I've posted this one before, but since I was on the topic of border officials - I swear this really happened - many years ago, on my way to a tournament in the US, when I told the Homeland Security guy at the border that I was going to play in a bridge tournament, he held up the line of cars behind me for ten minutes to tell me about the grand slam he bid and made at his local bridge club the night before.
Jan. 2, 2018
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I would pick whichever one of them is female. Too much testosterone at the bridge table too often leads to arrogance and bad behaviour, which turns off other players.
Jan. 2, 2018
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“Post-mortems are a privilege granted to those pairs that finish the round first, not last. Please move along.”
Jan. 2, 2018
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Whenever I return to Toronto from a tournament in the US, I am asked at the border where I went, how long was I away, and what did I do there. When I reply “I played in a bridge tournament” the Canada Customs official usually asks what I won, and I reply ‘just masterpoints’. His eyes glaze over at that point and he waves me through. I am sure that he is disappointed that no tax or duty is collectable on ‘just masterpoints’, which is IMHO a decided advantage of the masterpoint system.

No one ever asks me how many masterpoints I'm bringing back over the border. I would simply reply that the tournament results were sadly not commensurate with my ability. Or maybe they were.
Jan. 2, 2018
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